The Carbon Nitrogen Machine and Books

I can talk about culture, religion, and cats all I want, but I know that the question burning you up inside is really, “How's work coming along, Laurie?”

Well, funny you should ask. Truth be told, my forward progress has been halted by the fact that the Carbon-Nitrogen measuring machine is broken. I need this machine to measure the organic contents of my samples so that I know whether I need to kill the organic contents with Hydrogen Peroxide before preparing my samples for grain size measurements. Try as she might, the lab manager Ute can't fix the “C-N” machine. The local, free repair guy can't seem to ever make an appearance, and it would cost about 700 Euro to get a real repair guy to come! Ute is looking into how much it would cost to just get a new part for what seems to be broken and install it herself, if she can.

And, in the meantime, I am spending time in the geology library educating myself on soil science, since I never did actually take a soil course at Calvin College. There was a soil course offered when I was a beginner geology student, but I was only just beginning to learn what the realm of geology even meant and did not appreciate that soils fell under the category of something I should care about. The geology library here is pretty cool because there are just as many books in English as there are in German. I've been noting other possibly helpful articles from the books' bibliographies, so perhaps I will try to seek those materials out some day.

I'm thinking that once I have skimmed/read all the relevant geology books, then I will seek out the library which contains books on Jordanian history. I have never studied much Middle Eastern history outside of my Ancient History class at Calvin College, so we'll see if I can find any suitable books to skim. I learned a ton from Professor de Vries' articles on Umm el-Jimal, Jordan and Bernhard Lucke's dissertation on the Decapolis Region, but I want to review the region's history for myself. As part of a comprehensive understanding of the environmental history of Umm el-Jimal, the soils need to be interpreted in the context of the civilizations which were interacting with the land.

Even though I wish the Carbon-Nitrogen machine would get repaired so that I could move forward with the lab work, it is kind of nice to have time for reading unassigned educational books.

Afterword: Once you write something down, it becomes history within minutes. Internet news is only current if you can post your news immediately. I can't, so I have to write things like “Afterwords” to correct the old news.

I arrived in the lab today (Wednesday) and found out that the C-N machine has been working since yesterday afternoon! Ute and Professor Baumler cleaned every possible piece of the machine that they could take apart and wahla! It seems to have done the trick to get the machine working! So, Ute showed me how to operate the machine and I will begin analyzing my samples tomorrow morning.

Felix

I made a new friend. His name is Felix, which means “happy” in Latin. He lives next door, but his Dad works in my house. I like to hang out with Felix when he sits outside my house waiting for his Dad to go back home. I love to stroke his silky soft back until he gets tired of the attention and bites me. His hair is white on his chest and legs, and then striped brown and black on his head, back, and tail. He is quite adorable. Felix's Dad says that Felix probably gobbles up my attention because his family tends to not give him enough time for extended stroking sessions. I don't always have the time either, but sometimes I make the time to get my clothes real hairy from lots of stroking. I am very happy to have Felix as my friend. By the way, in case you didn't figure it out, Felix is a cat.

While I'm talking about Felix, I want to mention more about the name. There is a street nearby called Felix Klein Strasse, which is named after a man by the name of Felix Klein. His name translated to English means “Happy Small”. I find that humorous. “Hi, my name is Happy Small.” What if someone by the name of Felix happened to have the German words Dick or Gross for his last name? Then he would be either “Happy Fat” or “Happy Big”. Now, the question is, would you rather be “Happy Small” or “Happy Big”? When Adam Sandler made the movie “Happy Gilmore”, he totally should have chosen a cool, secret German last name to go with Happy. But, I suppose I should research the meaning of Gilmore to see if that actually does means something secretly cool. If someone in my family were named Felix, then it would be “Felix Koning”, which translates to “Happy King”. If it were someone in Steve's family, then it would be “Felix Kraft”, which translates to “Happy Strong”. Oooh, to have a Felix in Michelle's family would be quite delightful. A “Felix Heider” would translate to “Happy Heathen”. Ah, Michelle you might have won with the better Hawaiian name (Ihi Lani, meaning “Heavenly Splendor”, compared to my Lali, meaning “greasy as pork fat”), but I win in this game. If you were named Felix, what would you want your last name to be?

Since I'm talking about playing with words, I'll continue with another strain of thought. When I was in high school, Trisha Harting and I each had a vacant class period because we were taking foreign language classes at the community college. We would spend the vacant period in our math teacher's room getting extra help, since we were both quite horrible math students and needed all the help we could get. Our teacher's name was Mr. Kraft and he was a very nice person who we enjoyed as a teacher and friend. One day, Trisha and I decided to jokingly write on the chalk board, “Mr. Kraft is fat” in our respective foreign languages. (Mr. Kraft was in fact quite fit, in case you are thinking that we were seriously making fun of him.) Trisha quickly whipped out her sentence in French, but I had trouble with mine. I couldn't in good conscience write my statement on the board, “Mr. Kraft ist dick”, because English speakers, especially high school students, would totally misunderstand the statement. The closest alternative to “dick” seemed to me to be “gross”, which means “big”, but can still be so horribly misconstrued by English speakers. We did happen to have a retired/substitute teacher in our school named “Mrs. Gross”, so I figured that students couldn't misunderstand me too horribly. What this little joke demonstrated to me is how we can have the same words in two similar languages (German and English), but the meanings can be so completely different. Trisha seemed to have it so easy with her French because her words were so completely foreign. But in choosing my words, I really had to be careful!

Afterword: I looked up the meaning of the last name "Gilmore". It has a few meanings of Irish origin. It can be either "servant of the Virgin Mary", "servant of St. Mura", or "son of the spirited lad". This means that "Happy Gilmore" could in fact be "Happy son of the spirited lad". Since it was Happy's father who taught him to the fierce golf swing which the film is centered around, I suppose he was probably a "spirited lad". I don't think that Happy Gilmore would mean "Happy Servant of the Virgin Mary" in the case of this particular film since Adam Sandler is Jewish and all of the characters he plays in films are Jewish. Ah, I love words.

My New Friend Felix

Lazy Sunday in Erlangen

In Defense of My Christian Faith

Preface: I typically dislike talking about Religion, so accept this as one of those gifts that I have lying around the house and really need to get rid of, and you are the lucky recipient.

I am a Christian. Now, you won't find me sitting in one of the front pews in church, raising my arms up to praise songs, or praying out loud in groups, but nonetheless, I am a Christian.

I am also a scientist. I like logic, facts, and evidence.

I am human. I have emotions, feelings, illogic, and faith.

Humans are thinking beings who have been trying to understand the universe in which they live for seemingly as long as they have lived in it. This curiosity has led scientists to discover the workings of many a thing, including such complex things as genetics and astronomy. The human curiosity has also led us to philosophical thoughts on how and why we exist at all. It seems that most civilizations came to the conclusion that there had to be something greater in the universe than ourselves. This was quite humble of us, in a way. But, the reason this is the big conclusion is that the mysteries of the universe are simply too enormous for us to comprehend.

Early philosophers and ethicists discussed the meaning of life, gave advice on how we should behave, and how we should treat other creatures. Throughout their works, we find them mentioning a god or several gods. So, even these people who we tend to separate from the religious realm because of their focus on logic could not escape the human affinity to believing in a higher power. Various civilizations have come up with brutal or apathetic gods to take responsibility for all of the universal mayhem. But, it is the Christian religion, and its Jewish and Islamic cousins, which assembled the positive aspects and aspirations of human nature.

Can we prove that there is a God, that his Son lived on the Earth for a period of time, and that the godly Spirit lives in us still? No. It is called “faith” because we have to simply believe. Humans have been drawn to believe for ages, admittedly in a variety of hideous forms, but the faith is always somehow in us. We can explain the universe to a great extent with our scientific discoveries, but what I learned in Calvin College's science courses is that we can also have a faith which does not contradict our scientific logic.

I took Calvin's Pentateuch course in which we studied the first five books of the Bible. The conclusion of the course surprised me a bit: a lot of the stories in the beginning of the Bible are stretched truths and fiction. A non-Christian may add to this, “don't other religions also have similar creation stories as Christianity?” And to this I reply, “that is why the fiction of the Bible stories actually makes sense!” It was not just this one group of Jews who thought up these stories. Rather, it is somewhere in communal human knowledge!

I also took a Christian Theology course at Calvin College. In this class we discussed the concepts of God being all knowing, all powerful, etc. People ask how there can be so much suffering and cruelty in the world if God supposedly has so much control. My pastor at North Hills spent something like 7 weeks preaching on how we simply don't know why, but that we can act in the best moral and Christian good way in response.

Faith is a mysterious activity. What we do know about it is that it makes us do morally good works and gives us hope for the future. You can tell me that I'm not a Christian because I don't believe the same certain things as you (has happened), or you can try to break down my beliefs because they are “illogical” (has happened), but you can't break my inner, human affinity to being a Christian. God has been working hard through our ancestors to open our eyes to Him, so why don't we just let Him in and stop protesting so much?

The Upside to Competitive Markets

There are thousands of products on the market for seemingly the same purpose. You'd think that we could find something that works perfectly and just go with that one product. But, that's not how competitive markets work. And maybe it's for the best because what works good for one person may be completely wrong for another.

Take toothpaste, for example. I typically don't consider myself too picky when it comes to toothpaste. In the United States I switch back and forth between Crest and Colgate with little preference. But, here in Germany I purchased a common, admittedly cheap, brand of toothpaste, called something like Denti-Bella or Denta-Blend. My teeth did not take well to this twice a day beating! The paste was causing my teeth to be rough and super-sensitive to cold. At Steve's recommendation I invested in a tube of Colgate. Wow, the difference was instantaneous! As I brushed, I felt like my teeth were getting a massage. When I was finished, I slid my tongue over the back of my bottom front teeth and for the first time in weeks they felt healthy smooth. Apparently, it is possible to get away with purchasing the cheapest dark chocolate (recall the dark chocolate experiment), but not the cheapest toothpaste.

Now take smelly products, for example. Just when I think I've found a deodorant scent I think I can put up with, I move out of the country that sells it! It wasn't perfect, but at least I could stand it. And now I stand in the store smelling every new deoderant product twice. One smells too much like chemicals, another too much like flowers, and the last too much like baby powder. I choose the least horrible, which happens to still leave me smelling like flowery powder. So, I move on to the hand lotions. Now, here I discover something fantasic! One of the bottles says "odorless". I get a smirk on my face and laugh a hearty laugh. I don't believe I have ever come across an odorless product that was completely true to its word. But, low and behold, it is!! I squirt that stuff on my hand, rub a little, move my nose in with full preparation to smell something...but nothing is there! No smell! I grab it in a heartbeat!

There is something to be said for the "competitive market" economy.

Houseguests: Hans and Frans

These are Steve's adorable rats named Hans and Frans. I am babysitting while Steve is away for work. I cleaned the cage and changed the bedding today; and proceeded to be mesmerized by Frans' nest building while Hans sat eating. Frans is the skinny one anyway, so it makes sense that he would be working hard while his brother pigs out on the fresh food.

Physics, Physical, Physikalische, Physische

Sometimes you can go a long time saying the wrong word and even though people give you funny looks when you say it, no one corrects you.

I have been telling people that I'm studying "physikalische Geographie", when apparently I should have been saying "physische Geographie".

Now, I think you can see the English assumptions behind these two adjectives. I think of physikalische as being along the lines of the English physical and physische being along the lines of the English physics. But, the dictionary says otherwise.

Apparently, physische means physical, whereas physikalische is always paired with technical and physics concepts like chemistry and radioactive half lives.

Oops. Lesson learned.

When I Grow Up I Wanna be A...

My overall goal is to work a job where I play mediator between humans and the rest of the Earth. Since my academic focus has been on geology, geomorphology, soils, chemicals, water, etc., I am headed towards a field of what is called Environmental Science. Within this realm, I can either work for the Man or serve the Man.

If I work for the Man, then I would most likely work for an agency like the national Environmental Protection Agency, the National Park Service, a state park service, a water authority, a state Department of Environmental Quality, a state Department of Natural Resources, the Department of Agriculture, or the national Natural Resources Conservation Service.

If I chose to serve the Man, then I could work for a private Environmental Consultation company, an engineering firm, a water company, or a landfill company, among other options I don't yet know about.

While I could enter a few of these fields with my bachelor of science degree, I would have a better foot in the door with a masters degree. Plus, I'd have a better chance of being Boss someday : ) Not Top Boss, because that would be way too much work and responsibility, but something like a Middle Boss who knows what she's talking about, has a decent amount of sway in what's done, and earns a decent salary.

In Pursuit of...

I am currently reading a dissertation on the Burqu Basin in Jordan. I am beginning to wonder why this dissertation was written at all since all I keep reading is that the data record of the Burqu Basin is weak. It amazes me how much research is done in this world just to conclude, "I don't know." But, as Kathy's little pieces of paper that hung on our apartment wall always said,

"If you don't seek, then you won't find."

"He who wanders is not always lost."

I reflect on these phrases a lot as encouragement to keep wandering in the woods, the field, the river, the desert, the city, my brain, relationships, entertainment, jobs, and in the huge world. I never know what I might find.

Motorcycle Article in Newspaper

This is a photo of the news article in its printed form! It looks like the Dragon Bikers MC have posted it on their clubhouse meeting room wall!

Easter Weekend

What an amazing weekend. It is going to be difficult to restrain myself from writing too many details because it was all so great.

I suppose the great chain of events actually started on Wednesday when I got home from the lab and found that a package awaited me at the customs office down the road. I was super excited and knew that I had to get it Thursday because I couldn't possibly wait until after the Easter holiday ended and retrieve the package Tuesday. So, early Thursday morning I rode my bike to Tennenlohe, which is a sleepy little village on the outskirt of Erlangen. The Customs lady required me to open the box in front of her in order to find out if I had to pay a fee for my gift. I was very excited to see my box full of delicious chocolates and other sweets. I headed back to Erlangen on the “bicycle highway”, my name for the awesome path through the woods that is smooth, geographically direct, and surrounded by beautiful scenery. The woods and path were very similar to the ones I visited last weekend. The only time this bicycle highway wouldn't function is after rain.

That afternoon I emailed Stephen, my new American friend, to find out more information about his weekend trip to Berlin to which he had invited me. When I found out that he planned to go out to a bar and see a live rock band perform, and the mode of transportation to get to Berlin was going to be a motorcycle, I got really nervous. I figured I was too uncool to go see a small venue rock band show and Stephen's warning that riding on a motorcycle for an extended period can be tiring made me think that I would only be a troublesome, whining companion. I walked back and forth to the computer and email several times, trying to figure out if I really wanted to go. I really did want to go for a couple of reasons. One important reason was that Stephen had come down to Erlangen and danced with me a couple of times already that week and this was my chance to join him in an activity which was his idea and not mine. But, I worried. I worried I would get tired of Stephen. I worried that I would hate riding on a motorcycle. I worried that I wouldn't have the proper enthusiasm for the rock band show. I worried for naught, as usual. After I had thoroughly thought over the subject, I decided that if I was ever going to learn to have an intimate relationship with someone, which is out of my comfort zone, then I had to take this first baby-step of spending time on activities which weren't in my plans, which is also out of my comfort zone.

Most best-selling books and blockbuster movies have some component of love story in them. My stories, which are incidentally my life, are typically very much lacking in this component. But, as this particular story developed, so did an intimacy which I've never known before.

Friday morning we, meaning Stephen, his army friend Ben Van Buren, and I headed out from Bamberg around 11am. I was Stephen's backseat passenger on his croch-rocket sport motorcycle and boy did I hold on tight for the first stretch. But, as the day wore on, I realized that I wasn't going to fly off the bike as easily as originally thought and my hold relaxed. One of the highlights of traveling to Berlin was an approximately 3km long traffic jam/stop. How can this possibly be a highlight, you might be wondering? Well, we were creeping along like the other motorists when a motorcycle came slinking up along the white line between vehicles. We thought this was a good place to travel, so we joined this stranger. Stephen and I were the third and last motorcycle, which was comforting knowing that if any care doors were to open ,then they probably wouldn't hit us. Most of the people we passed smiled with envy or stuck out their hitchiking thumbs. When we got to the front of the jam, I saw a couple of cars in the ditch. I'm a little baffled at how they got there, with one upside down, when the weather was so incredibly beautiful and friendly. Technicalities of the crash aside, our group was super duper happy at our speedy surpassing of the traffic jam.

When we stopped for lunch at a small village Guesthouse, I found out that I was going to be playing the role of German translator and communicator with the non-English speaking German population. I took on this role with contented pride because it was one more proof to me that all of my hard-earned German education was for a reason.

Stephen had planned for us to stay at a hostel in Berlin, but finding no room in the inn, we took up post next door at a reasonably priced hotel. Being dinnertime, we ventured down the street to a restaurant which Stephen recommended. We actually ended up eating all of our main meals at this restaurant because they had good food. Next it was time for the big event, “the small venue rock concert”. We arrived at the bar, Wild at Heart, a little early, but the concert was worth the wait. There were two pre-show bands before the main show, which was The Texas Terri Bombs. All three acts played good rock music that rocked me deep inside. Texas Terri was one crazy lady and totally thrilling to watch. I left the bar that evening very glad that I had come and excited to try another such event sometime in the future. Stephen was pleased that I liked his choice of musical entertainment.

Saturday arrived and we headed out to explore Berlin on motorcycles. Our first stop was the Eastside Gallery, which is a segment of the old Berlin Wall still standing along the river but covered in murals, and graffiti. The murals were painted by professional artists back in the 1990s, but segments of the gallery are in the process of being repainted due to deterioration.

When I looked at the old Berlin wall, I was astounded at how small it was. After seeing the humongous Israeli wall running through the Palestinian West Bank, the Berlin Wall seems so insignificant. But, Ben reminded me that there were armed guard towers very closely situated along the Berlin Wall, which is not the case in the West Bank.

Our next stop was an old American checkpoint called “Checkpoint Charlie”, which used to control the traffic passing between the American and Russian sectors of Berlin. This place is a huge tourist destination and we didn't stay long because there wasn't really much to see except the old checkpoint house and reading a few placards on the history of the location.

So, away we rode to the famous Brandenburger Tor, which is a huge Romanesque gate built in something like the 1600s. Just down the road is the famous Siegessaule, which is a monument I learned about in a German course at Calvin College. If memory serves correctly, the monument represents victory, but victory over what I don't recall. (Fact update: Completed in 1873, the Victory Column represents German victory over the French in the Battle of Sedan in 1864.)

We zoomed over to a big cathedral on Museum Island and peeked through the door cracks to get a glimpse inside of the sanctuary. I, for one, was completely satisfied with my peek through the crack. Amazing as it was, it wasn't worth it to us to pay to see inside.

Located next door to the cathedral was an antique museum, so we decided to check it out. We spent a couple of hours perusing ancient Greek, Roman, and Egyptian artifacts. I liked the size of the collections because they were just big enough to be interesting without being too boringly extensive. We were still kind of tired after all of our zooming and viewing, so we headed back to the hostel, which we did manage to secure for Saturday night, and took naps. We met some fun-loving Kiwis at the hostel and had a good time hanging out with them Saturday evening.

The plan was to drive home Sunday, but along our way a new adventure presented itself. While I was in the bathroom at a gas station, unbeknown to me were Stephen and Ben outside fixing a motorcycle which belonged to a couple of German women and when I came out, I was asked by one of the women if I wanted to accompany the ladies to a motorcycle tour in Weissenfels. I was shocked by the question because for one, I had just walked out of the bathroom and didn't know what Stephen and Ben had been up to, and for another thing because it was just one of the women who asked me the question in German while Stephen and Ben looked on. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I figured the boys would get a kick out of a motorcycle gathering, so I said “yes”. And away we went to Weissenfels!

We first accompanied the ladies to the Dragon Bikers clubhouse where we were warmly welcomed by the members, and then we drove down the road to meet up with the big tour group at a gas station. There were tons of bikes in all varieties. The tour traveled a distance of about 100 kilometers and passed through quaint villages and across beautiful hills full of springtime bloom. There was a break in the middle which my rear end greatly appreciated. As pleasant as motorcycling is because of the nearness to nature I have riding out there in the open, it is a pain in the butt, literally.

We were invited to remain at the clubhouse for the evening's Easter Fire (bonfire) party and spend the night. We accepted the offer. I felt very confident and safe with my two army protectors. I had a great time chatting with the people and doing some translating for the boys. I also learned a lot about motorcycles and motorcycle culture. It was a very educational evening. There was also a tiny little boy who randomly took a liking to me, so that was fun playing with him. It's always nice to have positive interaction with children because it reassures me that I could actually raise my own children someday.

So, you're probably wondering where the love story came in. Do you think you missed it? Well, you didn't. I'm just not good at weaving it into the rest of the story because, as I said, I'm not used to doing so. On Friday, I permitted a little bit of hand holding with Stephen, Saturday a peck on the cheek, and by Sunday I had progressed to snuggling in his lap by the bonfire. I feel that I have spent a good portion of my life fulfilling my need for body to body contact through hugging dogs, but I am ready to progress to humans. Humans are a lot more complicated and finicky than dogs, but I think I am prepared to face the challenge.

Monday we finally returned home, completely exhausted from our glorious weekend. I had seen some of Berlin, indulged in some spontaneity, and finally allowed another human being to begin entering into my iron-clad heart.

Erlangen Think Piece

This is a fountain in Erlangen. I pass it every day going to the university. I would say it falls into the category of "Thinkpiece" art because every time I see it I think, "Are they trying to see how long it takes to weather that big slab of rock?" I would love to be around long enough to see a hole get eaten through it. Or, at least a bowl shape.

Dragon Riders MC, Weissenfels

This amazing dragon was in the Dragon Riders clubhouse meeting room. Isn't he cool looking?

Steve and Laurie in Berlin

This is a lovely photo of Steve and me in front of the Eastside Gallery in Berlin.

Americans ride spontaneously with the Dragon Biker Tour

By Andrea Hamman, 13.04.09, Mitteldeutsche Zeitung
Translated by Laurie Koning

From all directions came the motorcyclists on Sunday to the Aral Gas Station in Weissenfels (Whiterock). The hot machines rattled very promisingly. Thrilled, Steffen Marquardt followed the performance. He is a member of the motorcycle club “Dragon Bikers”, out of Weissenfels. These lovers of the machines on two wheels were invited to an Easter tour.
It was a mixture of race machines, Harleys, Benellis and additional well-known brands among the group. At last it was about one hundred motorcycles that were only waiting to finally get going. The fascination expanded among the “Non-Bikers”. Passersby came over and observed impressed the freshly polished gems as they glistened in the sun. Finally it was time. With a loud hum the bikes started. Photographed, acclaimed and marvelled at was the spectacular as it peeled away from the observers who had collected on the street. By the way, the 100 kilometer long tour had been brought together by Matthias Schulze. They followed over Zeitz to Königshofen, Eisenberg and Naumberg and back to Weissenfels. The conclusive destination was the property of the motorcycle club and its bar. A big Easter Fire with food and drinks was celebrated by the club members and their guests of the Easter Fest.
The club has existed in Weissenfels for 22 years and since five years ago this tour has been a strong tradition at Easter time. Only last year did the tour have to be displaced. It snowed on the appointed day. So the tour was postponed and a Spring ride occurred.
“Many motorcyclists have the wish to once ride in a big group”, explained Steffen Marquardt. The strength of the feeling of belonging together. Therefore, it was simply offered to get something going.
The organization was worth it because it was profitably also international: Three adult Americans joined with their machines. To thank was Elli Schmidt from Mahlow. She had a malfunction in the afternoon on her way at the rest stop by Köchern. Ready-willing offered Stephen Kraft, Ben van Buren, both from Texas, and Laurie Koning, from the US state of Michigan, their help. Both of the men are soldiers stationed in Germany. Laurie Koning studies in Germany. The trio met each other by and by first in Germany. They were directly on their return trip from Berlin when they stumbled upon Elli Schmidt.
Without further ado they were invited to the tour by the Mahlower and spontaneously agreed. The ice was quickly broken between the Americans and the Weissenfelsers. “We are very happy and excited”, said Laurie Koning with a bright-eyed smile. It is simply beautiful when so many people share the same passion, which she brought to the point.

Easter Weekend: A First Glimpse

This is a photo of Ben, me, and Steve from the Mitteldeutsche Zeitung. We rode in a 100 kilometer motorcycle tour (around 100 bikes) through gorgeous countryside and villages on Sunday afternoon and then celebrated Easter with the traditional European 'Easter Fire', which is a bonfire. Here's the address to the article. I will be translating the article at some point and post it.
http://www.mz-web.de/servlet/ContentServer?pagename=ksta/page&atype=ksArtikel&aid=1237373676997&calledPageId=987490165154

Peace (of mind), Love, and Happiness

In this world of millions of billions of unique people, I am amazed that any two people pair up for lifelong commitments. If I can't even stand putting up with myself, how is anyone else going to put up with me? And if I have enough trouble on my hands as it is putting up with myself, how am I going to additionally put up with someone else?

Whenever I learn about people through asking them questions, I am at the same time racking my brain to figure out what my own answer would be and the relationship between the responses. I am not fond of talking about myself because it is so much work to figure out how to explain this mess which I call my thoughts and it is nearly as exhausting to listen to others talk about themselves because my webbed mess of thoughts grows more and more knotted.

I have lived a super low-key life thus far and I am pretty content with continuing this theme. People from all directions keep advising me to do this or that to expand myself, but at the end of the day, I am the happiest cuddling in bed living vicariously through tv and books. I remember my freshman year at Calvin College when my social roommate went out to the club a couple of times with other girls from my floor. I found it fascinating to hear her describe what went on throughout the evening, but was happy I hadn't been a part of it. Of course, there are many a day when I live listlessly and dream of what it would be like to be a “Yes Woman (like Yes Man)” instead of a “well, I guess so woman”. But, I feel like some of us humans are not wired to stand such constant emotional charge as being a “Yes Woman” requires.

I am an idealistic romantic and control freak. When I look to my future, I see a farm house with fields for my sheep, a woods nearby for firewood, a few dogs running through my yard, cats lounging on the porch and inside on couches, and me working as an environmental consultant (ASTI tried to kill my dream, but try as they might, they only made it stronger). I have always kept the option open for there to be a husband and children in this idyllic picture, but it is so difficult to daydream this part of the story since I have no control over these characters. When it is just me, then I can do whatever I want. But, bring in even one extra character into the story and my selfish dream is complicated. If one of my main goals in life is to be happy, then I ask myself, “Would the addition of anyone improve conditions or make it worse?”.

Kindred Spirits

I had a difficult time getting out of bed this morning. I cried through the questions, “Why must I always come up with good reasons to get up in the morning? Why can't I just be happy that it is a new day and I am breathing?” But, I am abundantly happy that I did get up this morning because I met a few “kindred spirits”, as Anne of Green Gables likes to call those people with whom she gets along very well.

My “good reason” to get up this morning was to attend an Erlangen Tourist Bureau tour called, “Mit dem Fahrrad-Die Geschichte der Erlanger Gaerten” (With the Bicycle-The History of the Erlanger Gardens). I had mapped out the location of the start of the tour on my city map a couple of weeks ago and road nearly by it yesterday on my way to the forest, so I felt confident in my ability to find the spot this morning. Well, good planning can only get you so far in life.

I had the darndest time finding the correct street I had to ride down and passed by it several times before figuring out where I had to go. The situation was this: just as in Metro Detroit we have a few roads that change names a few times as they pass between cities and counties, in Germany the roads change names every few blocks for seemingly no reason what-so-ever. I was looking for “Allee am Rothelheim”, but the only sign I saw was on the opposite side of the road and it was something that began with an “H”. I finally figured out on the map that the street across from Alle am Rothelheim was called “Hofmanstrasse”, but the sign I was seeing from across the road was written in such a fancy script that I didn't think it looked like “Hofmanstrasse”. At whits end I decided that I must have found the correct street and went for it. I crossed my mental fingers that the group would still be at the meeting point and that I would know when to stop by seeing their congregation and not by finding another correct street sign. Thankfully, they were still there and the tour guide had only just barely begun speaking. Whew!

It was a lovely tour and the weather was absolutely perfect. On Thursday and Friday I thought the radio was calling for a Thunderstorm today, but only late in the afternoon did it sprinkle for a while. The tour brought us to a variety of “green spaces” in Erlangen, ranging from natural protection areas to tree lined ditches to manicured grassy squares to beer gardens. The tour guide was very proud of Erlangen's infrastructural insistence on having “green spaces”. As a Michigander, I am used to there being swamps, streams, and forests all over the place, so the amount of “green spaces” here in Germany feels so pitiful. But I can also understand that if someone like Professor Aay were to give an Urban Geography tour of Grand Rapids, he would probably come off sounding a lot like this tour guide. The United States is yet young and we have so much room to move around, but it is a thing to marvel at how after these nearly thousands of years of inhabitance of Germania, the folk have managed to restore and preserve swaths of green space.

The tour ended at the Burgberg beer garden (“Burgberg means “castle mountain”, but there has never been a castle there and it is merely a small hill) and so a fellow tourist and I decided to have a beer and chat. Jana has lived in town for about 2 ½ years working for Siemens in the Logistics department (1/3 of Erlangeners work for Siemens, 1/3 are students at the University, and 1/3 fall under Other). She is actually a Czechian, but speaks German wonderfully. Jana has a daughter about my age, is divorced, and enjoys her job here in Germany but loves her homeland and looks forward to living there again soon when her 3 years here in Germany are up. We chatted about all sorts of things and it was quite pleasant to sit outside in a beer garden to hold our conversation. The beer was good too. Nothing special, just refreshing and light. Perhaps I will see Jana again to go for a bike ride in the woods or something.

My next stop of the day was to find the “Society for Creative Anachronism” in the Schlossgarten. Bernhard had informed me that he and his friends would be gathering in the park for medieval “fighting practice” and suggested that I stop by. I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out what exactly this group of people did because I figured it was more dorky activities and people, which I already have my fair share of in life. No offense to those of you who are my dorky friends, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue to identify myself as a dork. But, once a dork, always a dork, and my curiosity was peeked.

After walking the perimeter of the park, I finally found a few subjects who I figured fulfilled the description of dorks participating in medieval fighting practice. Bernhard had not yet arrived, so I watched from a distance, deciding if I wanted to approach or to just go home and pretend I had never seen anything. Curiosity and a feeling of duty won over me again and I approached. Bernhard had said that these people were typically Americans and that English was spoke among them, and I heard English being spoken, so I decided to making my introductory comments in English. There was a woman sitting on the ground who was watching after her nearly 2 year old son and two young men gently fighting with stick swords. Everyone was very friendly, so I stuck around to chat.

As I got to know them all, I felt very much among “kindred spirits”. The woman, Maggie, reminded me a lot of Trisha Harting and her husband of a few of my male friends. I'm always fascinated to see how certain types of dorky people fit into boxes that I could label with preset descriptives. I was joyed to hear Stephen quote Zim and Gir, joyed to see Gotfried's gothic, long, black skirt and his long, pony-tailed braid, the piercings and tattoos on Gotfriend and Maggie, and everyone's interest in fantasy literature. People like this make me feel so at ease. It is not that I am necessarily exactly “like them”, rather that I feel like I can be exactly who I am and we will all appreciate each other just the same.

I shyly told Stephen and Maggie about my enjoyment of the Erlangen Tanz Haus and to my great joy, Stephen said that he loved to dance! He said that he had done Swing Dancing in college and that it would be great fun to try the Erlangen Tanz Haus. I gave him the address and time, so we will see if he comes tomorrow.

Stephen is an officer in the American military and works in Bamberg, where the Americans still have a large presence. Maggie, an American who has lived for several years in Germany, stays at home with her son ,while Gotfried, an American-German mix who grew up in Germany, is a nurse in the mentally ill ward of a hospital. I was nervous about befriending Bernhard's friends, but I quite enjoyed myself, so I suppose it was for the best after all.

I suppose you are still wondering what this Society for Creative Anachronism is and does. Well, from what I gather, it is basically a club for people who enjoy re-enacting various elements of the medieval period. Or, as Gotfried put it, Dungeons and Dragons players who have social skills! And who like to act out the game instead of just play it with cards and imaginations. The club has mass meetings for medieval warfare, medieval style parties, and craftsmanship displays. Just as my first friends at Calvin College used to amuse me so much with their dinner table discussions of imaginary D&D adventures (Dungeons and Dragons), this group of Society for Creative Anachronism participants made me laugh a lot and entertained me greatly.

I have only worn my opal ring a few times since being here in Germany, but I learned today that I have been declaring myself married, which is definitely not the message I want to be sending out to the world of single men. You see, on Thursday I asked Chris, one of the students in the lab, if his wife was also a student. I figured that he was married based on there being a ring on his left-hand ring finger. He said that his girlfriend was not a student, and that he was not yet married. I protested that he was wearing a wedding band. He replied that in Germany the wedding band goes on the right-hand ring finger. As much as I wanted to believe him, I didn't. So today, when I was chatting with Maggie and I noticed her only ring on her right-hand ring finger, I asked her about the situation. She explained that what Chris said is true. In Germany, the engagement ring goes on the left-hand ring finger and the wedding band on the right-hand ring finger. I quickly pulled my opal ring off of my right hand and moved it over to the left hand. I suppose I might now be declaring that I am engaged, but that is not so bad a declaration as being married.

Doo-dee doo-dee doo-dee. I hear this repetition of sounds thousands of times a day, be it in my head or in reality. This is the sound of the German ambulance. The lab is located across the street from several different medical buildings and at least one of them receives ambulances. At home I live near a main thoroughfare. The sound of German ambulances is so repetitive and memorable that it sticks in my mind terribly. While I work away in the lab thinking about how many grams of sample I am measuring out or how much of a chemical I am squirting into my vile of sample, I hear doo-dee doo-dee doo-dee over and over in my head. Sometimes I am not aware of whether it is real or not and I have to knock myself back into focus to discern the matter. I suppose that I should one day get used to the sound and no longer think of it in reality or fiction, but until that day, it is the soundtrack to my life. Doo-dee doo-dee doo-dee.

Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I couldn't see. The sight of things to buy too tempting and the sight of beautiful and ugly people too easy to superficially judge.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't hear. The love songs on the radio seem ceaseless and the chatter of people distracting.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't smell. The scent of sweets and baked goods too seductive, and the small of bathrooms and body odor too disgusting.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't feel. The pain of sore muscles and stubbed toes unbearable.
Sometimes I wish I couldn't taste. The taste of unhealthy foods so addicting.

Sometimes I'm glad I can see. The loving abyss of dogs' eyes, the red hatched bark pines, the fuzzy body of a funky moth, the fluttering yellow butterfly, the bee cleaning his bottom, the unique flower, and the stream rippling through the grass are awe inspiring.
Sometimes I'm glad I can hear. The thousands of bird songs, the rushing of the tree tops, the woodpecker seeking food in the trees, the trickling of a tiny waterfall, the chorus of a flock of sheep, and the squirrel eating a nut are captivating.
Sometimes I'm glad I can smell. The scent of a lilac, the breeze in a forest, and the spray from a big waterfall are refreshing.
Sometimes I'm glad I can feel. The squish of the mossy forest floor, the weightlessness of a pool of water, my lungs expanded with oxygen after a jog, and the coats of soft-haired cats and dogs so blissful.
Sometimes I'm glad I can taste. The bitter smoothness of dark chocolate, the refreshment of water, the crisp green apple, the spicy dinner dish, and the tasty bread all important to my enjoyment of nourishing myself so that I can see, hear, smell, and feel this amazing world.

Ihi Lani (Heavenly Splendor)

I learned and accomplished a lot in the laboratory this week. I really enjoy working with Ute, the lab manager, because she is so nice, friendly, and helpful. Sadly, she is on vacation for the next two weeks. I will miss her. My joy in my work was slightly dampened this week by simultaneously having a cold and my time of the month. The combination of ailments was frustrating and discouraging.

As if physical ailments weren't enough, I was put out a little mentally by my 5-year old fish Blau calling it quits this week. I am very proud of how long he lived. I got him for free when I was at the AuSable Institute for Environmental Studies in Michigan during sophomore year Interim. He was already a year old when I acquired him from the chef who had raised him and his siblings as centerpieces for the chef's wedding. I enjoyed having a pet of my very own, but he also taught me that having a pet means getting a babysitter whenever you are away from home for more than a couple of days. Thankfully, Kathy and my mother were gracious enough to care for Blau in my absence. I heard a song on the radio a few days ago that said, “I was born to live”, which made me scoff because it was so obvious. But, the lyrics could also have said, “I was born to die”, because it is also true that everything which is born eventually dies. Blau has gone the way of those that have the privilege to live.

There are days when it really does feel like this house is out to get me. Within the span of fifteen minutes this evening I had acquired a bump on the top of my head and a toe in need of some new skin. Yesterday evening, half of my body ate the door frame between the kitchen pantry and kitchen proper. Sacsha was an audience to that incident and warned me to keep watch of door frames. He explained that the builders constructed the house with these wonderful openings called doorways so that we don't have to walk into walls. What can I say in my defense? Nothing.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous yesterday (Friday) so I enjoyed the afternoon roaming on my bicycle. My main destination was the animal shelter. It was wonderful to see the big dogs and the little puppies. There were lots of hairy rabbits to admire. European animals always have so much more facial hair than their American counterparts. I visited with a few cats whose living quarters door was open, which was absolutely delightful! I let the cats just walk back and forth next to me and stroke my hands with their sleek bodies. The feeling of animal fur is “ihi lani” (heavenly splendor, for those of you who don't know Hawaiian and Michelle's name!). I really wanted to go hug a dog, but I didn't think I should since I wasn't actually there to adopt. I think the animal shelter is privately run, like the Humane Society. The facility was super clean, the living spaces for the animals spacious and comfortable, and multiple animals lived together, which makes for more sociability. I may have to visit the place again, perhaps in a month, so as to not arouse suspicion by returning too soon.

While I waited for the animal shelter to open (they are only open for a few hours in the late afternoon), I made a loop around the “berg”, which means “mountain”, but is in fact just the biggest hill in town where all the really wealthy people live. It was fascinating to see their modern, big, fancy houses with big grassy yards. I also found a forest, which inspired me to check out more of Erlangen's forests on Saturday.

Saturday has been a good day. I slept in as late as I could and when I couldn't sleep any more I stayed in bed reading. I have finished reading “Seneca, Letters from Stoic”. I am sad about this. I really enjoyed his insights and encouragements for how to live a satisfying life. I also read some “Anne of Green Gables”, which is such a wonderful book. Anne is so smart, creative, and optimistic. After a tasty brunch of spinach filled bread and cheesy bread I made it out of the house for the day while it was barely still morning. On the city map I saw a large forest over on the east side of Erlangen, so that was my destination. I was hoping that it was a public forest where I could hike and read.

When I arrived at the edge of the forest I found a wide, smooth, natural floored path and no sign saying bikes were forbidden, so I decided to bicycle the woods instead of hike. When I came across anything interesting, like a pond or flowers, I got off my bike for a closer inspection. After a few minutes in the forest, I saw many other bicyclists enjoying the beautiful trails, so I knew that bicycling was permitted. Germany has many forests like this one. Its an interesting thing to notice about Germany that people cram themselves into cities, living all on top of each other, and then in between cities are swaths of agricultural land and large forests.

Outside of recreation, the forest I was in today is also a working forest. I read a sign which explained that the area was a “water protection area” for the supply of a clean, healthy groundwater/drinking water supply to Erlangen. The forest is also used for forestry, as evidenced by the types of trees, their far-from-random growth pattern, and the strips of cut-down trees. Lots of forests in Michigan are also working forests or the regrowth of once working forests, so I was not really disappointed that I wasn't in a “wilderness”.

I found a lovely place to sit down, write and read among the mossy ground, tall swaying pines, and chorus of birds. After a period of taking in the beauty surrounding me, I delved into my new book, “Heimweh, Kitsch, and Co.”. I quite enjoyed the first chapter and look forward to future readings. The text is mostly factual, but the author phrases things in a friendly sort of way here and there, which makes me feel very comfortable, like she's a friend giving me a private lesson. By mid-afternoon I had written, read, thoroughly enjoyed my time in the forest and was ready to head back out. I took the long route out, since I didn't want to return the same way I came, and I didn't have a map to tell me where I was going. I was perfectly pleased roaming about the forest on my well-behaved bicycle.

When I got home, I decided that I still wanted to enjoy more of the day and that I hadn't gotten enough walking exercise, so I went for a jog. I also went for a jog on Friday and since that route along the floodplain and train tracks had pleased me so much, I took it again! I love how my body feels when I jog. I feel so full of life! It is so pleasant to jog around town because I can see what all is going on in “my neighborhood” and simply enjoy being outdoors.

Yesterday the outdoors played a mean trick on me! I was jogging on the sidewalk and approaching a spot on the asphalt that was covered in a lot of bird poop. I thought about how I really hoped that no bird would poop on me as I went under that spot. Instead of poop falling on me though, a very dead and slightly mangled bird dropped to the ground about a foot away from me! I was so surprised and disgusted! Today I jogged out into the empty street to be as far away from that creepy spot as I could be.

When I got home I tried to follow the same advice I have been giving my mother and did some crunches and girly push-ups to make for a more well-rounded workout in addition to the jogging. It was when I went for a weigh-in on the upstairs scale that the opened window wacked me on top of my head and when I went into the shower that the half-foot tall metal edge bit my toe. A bad ending to a good workout and good day!

“Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”-said Anne, Anne of Green Gables, Chapter XXI

Filtered (Oxalate) Sample Solutions

Organization is so beautiful with 42 samples!

Filtered (Oxalate) Sample Solutions

All filtered and ready for action.

Filtering (Oxalate) Sample Solution

The filtered solutions were kind of colorful.

Filtering (Oxalate) Sample Solutions

I love how organized all my jars are. It's like a little army lined up and ready for action.

Carbonate Bombs

I enjoyed playing with these little jars. I put in approximately 0.70 grams of sample, add approximately a teaspoon of 25% hydrochloric acid (HCl), swish it around, and read the top for the approximate Calcium Carbonate content as measured by the pressure of the reaction. What makes this fun is listening to the reaction and watching all the crazy bubbles!

SENECA, Letters from a Stoic, Letter CXXIII

"...nothing is burdensome if taken lightly,...nothing need arouse one's irritation so long as one doesn't make it bigger than it is by getting irritated."

One of the reasons that Seneca's words of advice are helpful and consoling is that he writes these words as much as instruction to his friend Lucilius as to himself. As to the context of this particular quote, Seneca has just arrived home from a journey to find that the baker has no bread and the cook is not prepared with any food. He says that he is "making the best of this slowness...by carrying on a conversation with myself." I have often behaved just like Seneca and sat down to write during moments of frustration. The activity of writing enables me to sort out the facts so as to not mentally dwell on any one sore point. Even at the worst of moments when I do go on for pages along the same frustrated theme, at some point the pen gives up on the tiresome topic and moves on to some glimmer of optimism, hope, or at least more distanced empathy.

The "Smart" Car

It actually says "Smart" on the rear end of the Car!

American Style (Car)

Bicycle with Baskets

Big Flat Rear End (Car)

Small Flat Rear End (Car)

German Vehicles

As we drove to the airport in Detroit (it's not really in Detroit, but who's looking at a map, right?), my mother made a request. She wanted me to observe if Germans were driving an abundance of "Smart Cars". Well, as I took a walk a few days ago, I saw a Smart Car and decided to be observant. It was not just on that walk that I observed cars though. I have been doing it since Day 1 and have been having a difficult time figuring out how to draw a conclusion from all that I have seen. You see, there are Smart Cars on the roads, but there are also vehicles that run the gamut of fuel and size efficiency. If the question is: Are there more Smart Cars here than in Michigan? Then the answer is emphatically Yes. If the question is: Are Smart Cars common here? Then the answer is emphatically No. The best conclusion I can offer is this: No matter the style, size, or brand of automobile, the majority of vehicles have flat rear ends. It's actually kind of weird to see these flat rear ends everywhere; like some sort of city-wide experimental art. To demonstrate the variety of vehicles that one is surrounded by when standing in one spot, I took some photos at a location along my walking route. As you can see, there's big ones, small ones...and a bicycle. The bicycle is very common in Erlangen. Within the city, bicycles are to follow the "Red Brick Road", which is the red brick portion of the sidewalk. Sometimes I sing "Follow the Red Brick Road" to the tune of "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" from The Wizard of Oz while I am bicycling along this path.