Identity

I feel like I am looking for a child who has run away from home. I keep asking myself, “Where would Laurie be apt to go? Where would she feel in good company and enjoy herself?”. These questions point to my identity. I am in a new city and will be here for enough time that I should make myself at home. But, who am I? What do I need to do to feel at home? Words that come to mind include: Evangelical (reformed) church, dance, dog, book, cozy bed, running, nature, t.v., movies, and extracurricular learning in the form of museums, tours, and lectures. I think I can fill these posts with time.
I spend a lot of time daydreaming about the various jobs there are in this world. When I stand on the street corner and watch the numerous bus' go by I think, “That person looks youthful and nice. I could be a city bus driver.” Or when I'm in the grocery store and I see the friendly produce person stacking the fruit I think, “That might be nice working with food all day.” And then there's the clothing store employees who are always wearing nice clothes. I don't think too seriously about their jobs because there are so many horrible articles of clothing out there and I would have to sell them nonetheless. The worker I really enjoy studying is the cleaning lady for homes, professional buildings, and schools. These people are so important to our lives and they look so comfortable in their positions. They just plow ahead with their work at a steady pace until everything is complete. I like the idea of jobs in which there is something specific to be done and then when it is done, it's done. There's no thoughts about the work left nagging in your brain. It's over. It's such a romantic idea...
But do you know who my role models are? They are two people who never seem to stop working. Monday through Saturday they can be found plodding away at their jobs. I think that if I like my job, then I won't mind working on it all the time. I think it's just plain silly for people to have jobs which they hate. I mean, come on: It's your existence! Your life! Your reason for getting up in the morning!
I remember teachers giving us the assignment in elementary school to write about our role models. I hated the assignment and I still think it was stupid of those teachers. Seriously, how many people did they think I knew at that young of an age? And I was supposed to pick my best role model from those few? Silly, stupid idea. Only now that I am older and have met a good number of people am I beginning to piece together the person I want to be and the role models I can try to sculpt my life after.
It is raining and windy outside. I think that cozying up in bed sounds excellent right about now. I fear that I will have to take the bus tomorrow morning if it is still raining hard. I don't want to take the bus because it costs something like 1.20 Euros. Additionally, I want to be able to whip around on the bike tomorrow evening to find the Tanz Haus, where I will be social and learn how to dance like they do in Catalan! Maybe if I go to bed early, then the rain will stop before I wake up...